


The Duology of Love & Time

by shadesoflondon



Category: The Grisha Trilogy - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: F/M, I am out of control, also i adore the darkling so there's that, but nikolai gets so much love!!, i wrote it in one sitting so, is this story good?, nothing but love for MY king, yes... call the angst police, ~yikes~
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-11
Updated: 2019-06-11
Packaged: 2020-04-24 12:40:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19173487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadesoflondon/pseuds/shadesoflondon
Summary: In which Alina regains her power, leaves Mal, and marries Nikolai. In time, she finds her way to the Darkling. Post Ruin & Rising, except Alina is the only sun summoner. Aleksander doesn’t truly die.Somewhat based on the fic Start a War, which I adore with my entire heart and soul.





	The Duology of Love & Time

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, this is written in the style of an epilogue. Yes, this is sort of a love letter to Nikolai. No, I am not sorry. I sat down to do a little writing warm up and then… I threw this up! I’ve never written something so impromptu before. Let’s hope this is good, lol!
> 
> Please note that this is unbeta-d UwU

The past brought her memories of a ship, a sly smile, and the privateer who owned both. Of his hands, firm and kingly, up until the day they fell from hers and into the ground.

Nikolai was not her first love, and he was not her last. But he was her fullest- he gave her his lifetime. He gave her his love, his hand, and his country. In return, she helped him build it into the greatest empire to grace the history books. Nikolai’s rule was fair and just, and when it was announced that she was expecting his child, the celebrations lasted for weeks and bled into months.

All these centuries later, the parties still brought a smile to her face. The spark in his eyes, she would never forget. And his love… his love was the love of kings.

Of all of the things that Aleksander told her, what he was most right about was this: eternity is a long time. It was something she’d always known, but the reality of it still caught her off balance. The past clung to her like the stench of smoke. When she thought the visions were gone, they would come again, as shadows that hid in the cracks of her mind.

Sometimes, it didn’t bother her. She would sit at the window and drink her _kvas_. The memories would wash over her like a warm wind, and the whirl would grip her and drag her into dreams of her son and his fox-king father. Other times, the golden warmth would instead be grey and cold. In her head she would visit the last days with her child. With Nikolai. She was a different person then, when she had them. But time claimed her family as it claimed all things, and in the end, all she was left with was herself.

Eternity was a long time. So she sought out company. Aleksander wasn’t hard to find- he never was- and together they found domesticity. She knew it wouldn’t last forever, as he had and will always be what time made him (ambitious) and she would forever be what love had taught her (gentle). But being with him was better than being alone with her thoughts.

And she loved him.

Over the course of her life, Alina has felt many loves. There was Mal, her first, and it was the love of youthful infatuation. Nikolai was her second, and her best friend. Even now, she could claim that. Their children she loved with a love that was more than love. And when they slipped from her and to their father, it became a pain that was more than pain. She still carried it on her shoulders, and the times when she thought it would consume her, Aleksander pulled her from the edge and gave her purpose. For that, she loved him. Their connection was a flame: slow, and steady, and all-consuming.

She always knew that they were alike. She always knew that they needed each other. But it was years and years before the reality of it sank into her bones like an icy chill. Before she realized why he had let himself go when she stabbed him, why he had almost let himself die and slip into nothingness when he believed her powerless.

She never asked him if he had a wife. Or if he had children, once. She wasn’t sure if he would tell her, or what she would do with the information if he did. All she really knew was that without him, she would have drifted from herself and into the arms of death with her family. When they were mad and fought, he’d spit at her cowardice. He claimed it was a weakness, letting yourself feel despair like that.

He was right.

His coldness kept him alive.

The brutality and anger that she always loathed in him, all of the cruelty that she thought time had gifted him, was a defense mechanism. It was a way of keeping the pain out- and carrying on. His ambition was another form of this. If you had no one to live with and love, what would give your life purpose? The only thing that would survive with you: your country.

So, after a couple of slow years, the pair agreed to return to the political world. It was hard for her to see a Ravka without Lantsovs. The bloodline had been dead for over fifty years, but their influence still remained. Grisha were treated well. The economy was steady, and the country flourished.

It wasn’t long before war came. Alina and Aleksander joined the ranks of the Grisha, and steadily they rose to the top. When the only heir was assassinated, the country stilled. The king passed away not ten years after a peace treaty was signed, and again, Ravka held its breath.

When Aleksander took his steps up the dais and settled on the throne, there was an exhale. And there was peace. Just as the shadow summoner pictured all those years ago, Alina took her place at his side.

For her second time, and for his first time, they welcomed a son into the world. Alina held the baby’s crying form. When he giggled up at her and brushed his little fingers across her cheek, she smiled. He had a head of brown hair and eyes the color of smoky quartz. With his hands he could wield both the sun and shadow, and just like his eyes, it would become a staple of their new dynasty.

But for now, all he was was a boy. And much to Aleksander’s irritation, he was a boy named Nikolai.


End file.
